no drama queen here

Have you ever noticed that a lot of cheer moms are…a bit wacky?  I must be one of the few who actually understands that the YMCA cheer academy is supposed to be FUN.  Sure, the girls learn a few skills and a cute routine for the year-end recital.  But really…really?

You’re going to yell at the high school girls who are teaching the class because you don’t like the routine?  Yes, it was a tiny bit fast, but they were catching on. At least the girls in Ella’s Monday night class were catching on.  All 3 of them.

Apparently the moms from the Thursday night class were up in arms about the routine last week.  So, even though they’ve been  practicing the same thing since the first of March, the girls changed it.  And tried it out on our girls last night.

It’s still cute, and everything will be fine.  But come on moms.  Let your kids be kids.  These girls are 5…6…7.  And the teachers are 17…18. They’re doing the best they can do with little to no instruction from their so-called “boss” who I haven’t seen at the facility in months.

the queen speaks out on education

Friday last week, I met wth the “Student Success Team” at the girls’ school to discuss Lexi’s potential vs her actual achievement…and what to do to close the gap.  Mind you, she’s only in 2nd grade and one of the youngest in the class due to her late-July birthday.  I walked in to the meeting full of hope. I walked out frustrated, annoyed, and ready to ditch USD 266 and the public school system as a whole.

Three days later, I can’t say the sentiment has changed much.

I find myself in a battle over what’s easy for me as a parent and what’s best for my brilliant daughters.  Truly, the battle began many years ago, but as she gets older and falls behind in mundane classroom work, I stuggle more and more.

She’s not a “bad” kid.
She’s not disruptive.
But she has been diagnosed with ADHD (of the distracted, non-hyper variety) and her teachers struggle to keep her enaged in the classroom. Perhaps I should say engaged to their satisfaction.  Lexi is on ADHD medication, and while it does help her settle her brain for longer periods when she’s really interested in something, she disappears into her head quite often. “Alexia Land,” as the family affectionately calls it, is full of rainbows, butterflies and, most recently, robots.  If there were a way to record/video her deep thoughts, the world’s problems might be solved.

After Friday’s disappointing meeting, I was schooled in some other education options by a dear friend. She also copes with ADHD and would be a fabulous spokeswoman for the cause.  Since before Christmas, I had been looking mainly at the viability of homeschooling as a single parent with a 40-50 hour per week job.  This friend suggested I also look into The Independent School and Wichita Montessori.  The financial burden would be comparable for all three options.  To homeschool, I would need to hire a full-time nanny.  Private school tuition for the two girls would be about the same as a nanny’s salary.

While I find myself focused on Lexi’s wellbeing and success, I can’t forget about my other princess.  Ella is just as bright as her sister, but her learning style is more in line with public school expectations.  I recognize that what’s best for one of my children may not be the best option for the other.  So what’s a mom to do?

What’s the “right” answer?
Do I split the girls based on their individual needs or do I keep them in the same school…whichever it may be?  
Would Ella benefit from a Montsorri environment as I believe Alexia would?  
Would they get the attention they need from homeschooling?
IS there a right answer?

The one thing I do know today is the status quo is not acceptable. Even though I am a successful product of Kansas public schools, and I am the daughter (x 2), granddaughter, sister, and niece of public school teachers, I feel the current system is failing.  

“No child left behind” my ass.  Kids like my Lexi are being left behind all over the country. They’re the brilliant ones who don’t fit the standard mold or even the alternative mold. No one knows what to do with them or wants to figure it out.  I’m done fighting an administration who doesn’t get it.  And I plan to soon be done with public school system.

new year…the queen still reigns

Somehow my 5 and 7-year olds kept themselves awake on NYE, but by 10:30, I knew they’d never make it until midnight in Kansas.  So the girls and I rang in the New Year at 11pm…with the live ABC telecast from New York.  It was a memorable evening and the first time I’ve allowed them to stay up so late.

Today is my first day back at work since December 22.  It was such a lovely vacation, I had a hard time getting out of bed at 5:30 this morning.  Apparently, I wasn’t the only one.  My first email of the day came at 7:20…from the boss lady.  She’d forgotten to turn on her alarm clock and had just rolled out of bed.  Awesome example in leadership.

This time of year brings questions of resolutions and goals for the next 12 months.  Here are my Top 5…

5.  Finalize the insurance settlement from October’s fire

4.  Set and stick to a reasonable household budget to include more savings

3.  Continue losing weight (hit my goal by year end) and exercising regularly

2.  Complete my Life Coach certification course and establish a practice

1.  Purchase my first house

the favorite child – a lesson from my father

While reading an article at Better Way Moms about ”Playing Favorites,” I found my thoughts transported to a time about nine years ago. I stood in the back porch/mudroom of my childhood home. My daddy was holding me as I sobbed, heartbroken, over something…the details of which are unimportant today.

As he held onto me, Dad said something that I’ve heard him repeat on occasions since. It’s a lesson he learned from his own father, and one I hope to pass to my children when the time comes.

People ask your mom and me which of you kids is our favorite. You know what I tell them?
The one who is hurt.
The one who is lost.
The one who feels broken.
The one who is celebrating.
The one who is in trouble.
The one who needs me at that moment in time…

You see, I am the middle child, #2 of 3. And while I never felt neglected or rejected, I never felt as if I was favored.

On that day, I was the favorite. And I know now that is was neither the first nor the last time my parents felt that way.  I’ve also seen days when it was my older sister, as well as witnessed my baby brother “taking the lead.”

On that day, while my tears soaked into my father’s flannel shirt, I learned that it’s okay to have a favorite child, and that it’s not going to be the same one all the time.

The question remains…Do I have a favorite?

Of course I do! It depends on which of my girls needs me more.

My favorite child is:
The one who lost the fight.
The one who fell down and banged her knee.
The one who was rewarded for good behavior.
The one whose friend called her names.
The one who asks for hugs af kisses…and the one who doesn’t but needs them still.
The one who aced her test.
The one who didn’t.
The one who needs the love of her momma just a teeny bit more at that moment in time.

That is my favorite child. 

mom of the year I am not

Last week of the softball season, and I am a mixed basket of emotion about it. On one hand, I’m glad Lexi has only one more game to play. On the other, I’d like to play more.

Last night was an oddly-scheduled Monday night game; we usually play on Tuesday and Thursday.  Even so, it has been in my planner and on the calendar for weeks. 

We missed all but the last half of the last inning anyway. I got the time wrong. Not cool, Mom. Not cool at all.  

See, I’ve been obsesive all season long about double and triple checking to make sure we arrive on time. Last night, I screwed up. The game I had scheduled for 7:00 actually began at 6:00. Bummer! 

At least we showed up on the right field…and on the right night. Lexi did get a chance to bat. And she was totally cool about it otherwise.

Our last game is Thursday at 8:00. Will I be back to checking multiple schedules to ensure we don’t miss it? 

Did I really have to ask?

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