The Queen Reigns Supreme

Jealous…of my kids

qmadmin — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 01:12:50 +0000

I’ll be the first to admit I have never, except for a brief period in my early-20s, been an athletic person. Why is it, then, I find myself feeling pangs of jealousy toward my daughters and their activities?

As I write this evening, I am sitting on the sidelines of Court B at our YMCA watching 2nd and 3rd grade girls learn volleyball basics and my 5 year old turn cartwheels time and again. I found my heart sinking…wishing I could play again myself. It has only been a couple of decades. And I was bad at it then.

I fully believe there’s a sort of psychosis that comes over a person who lives with chronic pain. My body has strict limits and I am unable to do things I was once able to do. And although I often didn’t do…I could have if I wanted to.

Knowing I will be bedridden and miserable for days if I even try…that is what kills me inside.

the favorite child – a lesson from my father

qmadmin — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 14:00:35 +0000

While reading an article at Better Way Moms about ”Playing Favorites,” I found my thoughts transported to a time about nine years ago. I stood in the back porch/mudroom of my childhood home. My daddy was holding me as I sobbed, heartbroken, over something…the details of which are unimportant today.

As he held onto me, Dad said something that I’ve heard him repeat on occasions since. It’s a lesson he learned from his own father, and one I hope to pass to my children when the time comes.

People ask your mom and me which of you kids is our favorite. You know what I tell them?
The one who is hurt.
The one who is lost.
The one who feels broken.
The one who is celebrating.
The one who is in trouble.
The one who needs me at that moment in time…

You see, I am the middle child, #2 of 3. And while I never felt neglected or rejected, I never felt as if I was favored.

On that day, I was the favorite. And I know now that is was neither the first nor the last time my parents felt that way. I’ve also seen days when it was my older sister, as well as witnessed my baby brother “taking the lead.”

On that day, while my tears soaked into my father’s flannel shirt, I learned that it’s okay to have a favorite child, and that it’s not going to be the same one all the time.

The question remains…Do I have a favorite?

Of course I do! It depends on which of my girls needs me more.

My favorite child is:
The one who lost the fight.
The one who fell down and banged her knee.
The one who was rewarded for good behavior.
The one whose friend called her names.
The one who asks for hugs af kisses…and the one who doesn’t but needs them still.
The one who aced her test.
The one who didn’t.
The one who needs the love of her momma just a teeny bit more at that moment in time.

That is my favorite child.

having a yard sale. No, a yard giveaway

qmadmin — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 16:10:39 +0000

Maybe I’m crazy for doing this. Some people think I’ve lost my mind.

This Saturday and Sunday I am pulling a bunch of stuff out of my garage and basement. I’m putting signs on the street corner. I’m giving everything away.

Yes. Giving. As in, “I haven’t used or needed this in 4 years. Please take it.”

Girls’ clothes, shoes, coats
Women’s clothes in various size
Toys
A metric ass-ton of books
Fabric & craft supplies
And other miscellaneous junk

All of it needs to leave my house and the sooner the better!

only 10 shopping days left before school starts again

qmadmin — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 12:30:14 +0000

Where did the summer go? To me, it feels like the seasons fly by faster every year. It’s the 5th of August and our schools start back on the 16th. Silly if you ask me! Temperatures rose well above 100° this week, and we’ll continue to have hot weather for several more.

What happened to starting the new school year after Labor Day? I vote to bring that back, please!

My baby girl starts Kindergarten, and I’m having mixed emotions about it. Oh, she’s ready, and she needs to go. No problem there. I am simply feeling OLD. Too old to have a Kindergartener.

Of course, I can’t forget my 2nd grader. She’s raring and ready to go back to school. If you let her, she’d go year-round.

Two totally different kids.

10 shopping days, and I still need to go shopping. Pencils, crayons, notebooks, wet wipes…here we come.

Snaps for Lexi

qmadmin — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 15:15:43 +0000

There’s something about my daughters’ birthdays that makes me all sentimental. Alexia turned 7 on Friday (July 31), and I spent a lot of time last week reflecting.

I have a great kid. Despite her ADD and ability to zone off into never never land, Lexi is awesome. I don’t give her enough credit.

She’s a great sister and a good friend. She rarely holds a grudge, and is almost always the first to comfort little sister Ella…when I don’t get there first. Her teachers love that she’s adaptable and ameanable. And she’s the first they ask to play with another child who seems to be lonely or having a bad day.

I love you, Doodle Bug!

mom of the year I am not

qmadmin — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 14:51:06 +0000

Last week of the softball season, and I am a mixed basket of emotion about it. On one hand, I’m glad Lexi has only one more game to play. On the other, I’d like to play more.

Last night was an oddly-scheduled Monday night game; we usually play on Tuesday and Thursday. Even so, it has been in my planner and on the calendar for weeks.

We missed all but the last half of the last inning anyway. I got the time wrong. Not cool, Mom. Not cool at all.

See, I’ve been obsesive all season long about double and triple checking to make sure we arrive on time. Last night, I screwed up. The game I had scheduled for 7:00 actually began at 6:00. Bummer!

At least we showed up on the right field…and on the right night. Lexi did get a chance to bat. And she was totally cool about it otherwise.

Our last game is Thursday at 8:00. Will I be back to checking multiple schedules to ensure we don’t miss it?

Did I really have to ask?

new job day 2

qmadmin — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 00:15:54 +0000

So here I thought I had an office job. Yeah…partly, but not 100%. I kinda forgot that Bombardier has a service center right on site. And, well, we support all of the service centers. The guys here think we need to come crawl around on the plane. Not such a big deal. Unless you’re me…the girl who was looking forward to wearing dresses.

I spent time today under a wing. Good thing I chose capris!

Now all I need are MS Access and authority to make long distance calls. Tried to call a customer rep this afternoon and failed…miserably! Had to send email instead. Terrible way to make a first impression.

Ready for day #3. It can only get better!

new adventures

qmadmin — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 04:14:13 +0000

At 8:30 on Thursday morning, another round (4th…5th? I’ve losy track) of layoffs was announced at work. I didn’t make this round unscathed.

Don’t panic but…as of Monday, I’ll no longer be a Liaison Engineer within the completions group.

I’m moving to customer support engineering where they fix in-service airplanes. It’s technically a lateral, but because there is some on-call time required (I’ll carry a phone about one week a month), there’s a pay premium that amounts to about 2.3%.

I won’t have to deal with furloughs either.

And I’ll be back in a real cubicle farm…with air conditioning!

I had talked to the supervisor over there several weeks ago anyway. I was even working on updating my resume for her to hang onto until there was an opening. The layoff situation deleted the need for that formallity.

Yes, I think this will be a good move. Not as much hands-on, but definitely a more steady workload.

Yes, I am excited!

Yes, I am scared to death!

technical difficulties and forgetfulness

qmadmin — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 23:18:36 +0000

When my domain hosting at (unnamed company dot com) contract expired in the middle of March, I forgot to renew. Whoops.

Then life got in the way and it was the last thing on my mind. Blogging wasn’t at the top of my list of things to do. And I really didn’t think about it.

But now…now I have a new project and I want/need to blog semi-regularly again! It will be exciting. You’ll see.

All of the old posts are available through the RSS. Because I didn’t set it up in the beginning, the dates aren’t all correct, but that’s the least of my worries! I may or may not go back and post them again. Let me know if you have an opinion!

In the meantime…I’m back and ready to blog again. It will take some time to get things looking right again, but I’ll get there.

xoxo
Deb